April 27, 2016
Naïveté and Innocence
So, update on the last post I made. I have concluded that the universe did like toying with me. So the result was no. I’m still not a graduate. Sigh, whatever. I said I won’t be affected as much but I still am.
Like I said in my last post, my life is such a playground for the universe. Let’s face it. All of us is a toy for the universe. I truly believe that. We cannot undo what was done to us in the past and we can’t foresee our future. In between that? It’s the universe either celebrating with us, or just like with me, fucking with my life.
I shouldn’t have expected anything really. I mean it was such a simple deduction. No amount of praying to the gods did change my grades. In fact, it may have worsened them. I’m smiling this as I type. I find it funny. Why?
Because again, I was shown that I am a naive and innocent woman.
Naïveté and innocence are my mistakes. Which I always struggled to not do anymore but still…
These two words are very synonymous with each other and yet, they are very different. I consulted the ever reliable Ms. Merriam, and she said that one is innocent when you have no evil bone in your body. While one is naive when you lack experience and you don’t concern yourself about other’s thoughts about you.
Why did I bother to define them? Because I am both. As we all are in different capacities and levels.
The mere fact that I still believed that there could be a miracle, shall we say in what I had experienced in the past was showing that I was innocent. I am naive because I believed it in the first place. Did you get it? No? Me too. Just kidding.
Anyway, suffice it to say that I’m sure this even won’t be the last time I’ll show both of these traits. I find that I can’t really escape them. It is an ingrained part of me. Sometimes, it is frustrating and sometimes not very helpful. I always believed that I am a pessimist. I wanted to show that I am like that, but little miss sunshine still pokes her head once in a while. And sometimes very untimely too. And it always makes me suffer when it happens.
So there. End of my story with the past. It’s sealed and will go down in history as a testament to my belief in the unknown forces of the world.